“So, you’re doing an unpaid internship. How are you paying
for it all?”
The first thing people always ask me when I mention I am
doing an internship is whether or not it is paid. When I sheepishly admit that
it is unpaid, they feign surprise and do not hesitate to ask the incredibly
personal question of how I manage to survive without living in a garbage can
like Oscar the Grouch, as if I was the first person they had ever met to do an unpaid internship. Quelle horreur!
You would never ask someone exactly how much money they
make in a year, and if you do, it is always politely phrased in the brackets
“if you don’t mind me asking…” Nobody has to justify their salaried positions,
but those of use who don’t make money are forced to explain our lack of it. How
in hell is it gauche for rich people to talk money, but others are allowed to
nose into the personal lives of those who are struggling as if it was for the
public record.
How I pay for my lifestyle is something I would rather not
discuss, partially because I feel I shouldn’t have to, but also because it is a
huge sore spot in my life. I’m not interested in telling strangers how I walk
an hour to work every day because I would rather not have the added expense of
public transit, among other money-saving initiatives. It makes for a shitty, depressing and downright humiliating conversation.
It’s fucking ridiculous how no one ever asks University
students how they survive in school. Kids pay thousands of dollars every semester
to go to school and ‘educate themselves’, which usually means smoking a lot of
weed and staying up all-night writing a paper they forgot was due. Higher
education is a hell of a lot more expensive than working for free and nobody
ever asks students how they manage, because it’s obvious: they either assume
gross debt in the form of student loans, or their parents pay for school, possibly both. I’m sure there are some people who can afford to pay their own
educational expenses through co-op programs, but these self-supporting students
are not the overwhelming majority.
So, hearing people ask such a grating and personal
question about my bank account on a regular basis makes me want to freak out
and go all Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men; “You can’t handle the truth!!”
What were my choices, really? I could continue to work my
shitty part-time minimum wage retail job and supplement it with my freelance
writing income indefinitely, or I could choose to spend my days doing something
that I really, really, wanted to do, which is work at a magazine.
In retail, I was wasting away. I went to work, served the
customers, and went home. I was not going to “move up in the company” because I
didn’t give a shit about the company. It was mindless, meaningless and was
contributing nothing to my desired career path. So I decided to leave it behind
in favour of improving my skills and making connections in a field that I
desperately want to work in. My internship is stressful and intense, but I know
I am good at what I do and getting better every day. The work I do is
gratifying, and I am happy to do it. I no longer dread going to a work where I
have to smile at people and repeat the same eight sentences for hours on end.
But still, how am I paying for it? There is really no way
to say “my parents are helping me out” without sounding like a privileged, Park
Avenue princess. Yes, I have privilege, but at the same time I am just paying
my dues. The media industry is structured in a way that supports this
privilege. Unpaid internships are completely unfair, but it doesn’t change the
fact that they are commonplace. Thousands of young people have paved the way by
working for free before me, and thousands will continue to trample the path
long after my six months are completed.
Next time you ask somebody how they can afford to do an
unpaid internship, maybe you should ask yourself how you afford to eat $10
lunches three times a week, or how you justify spending $100+/month on your
cell phone bill. People justify certain expenses because they want them in
their lives. It’s really as simple as that. You are probably not a financial
angel with a Suze Orman-shaped halo, so it is not your place to label me while
I live as frugally as I can in the hopes that it will someday pay off.
